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Courtship

Mukandagijimava Epiphanie & Muhongwanseko Scholastique

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Mother and daughter open up to each other about love, loss, and marriage. The two women discuss many topics including religion, intimate relationships, and how dating practices have changed over time. Muhongwanseck Scholastique shares her concerns about her future with her mother Mukandagijimava Epiphanie, and asks about the secret to her parent’s good marriage. Mukandagijimava Epiphanie welcomes her daughter’s questions and says that relationships should be based on love, respect, and communication.

Mukagakwaya Beatrice & Muvunyi Olivier

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Muvunyi Olivier has many questions for his mother, Mukagakwaya Beatrice, about how Rwandan culture has changed since her childhood. Mukagakwaya Beatrice provides descriptions of the courtship rituals in the past, dress and behavior during weddings, and the gender norms that governed women’s lives. She tells her son that women today are not as respectful of traditional cultured or their elders. She advises young people to be peaceful and content with what they have. Muvunyi Olivier welcomes his mother’s story and wonders about these traditions in contemporary society.

Nyirahabimana Consolee & Mukeshimana Godelive

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Nyirahabimana Consolee tells Mukeshimana Godelive stories about the way young girls acted before she was born, drawing on her own life and the stories her aunts told her. They include everything from weaving, the to difficulties with accepting advice, dealing with mothers-in-law, giving birth, changing traditions about co-wives, and much more.

"I can’t confirm that all the poor take a wrong way which will cause them more pain because of poverty. So even the poor can keep their dignities in their poverty and finally get their own families." Nyirahabimana Consolee

Ndiseguye Aloysia & Gatesi Charlotte

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Ndiseguye Aloysia helps Gatesi Charlotte understand how to lead a productive and fulfilling life and reminds her to always ask for advice from older people. Ndiseguye Aloysia reminds her that children should be helped and treated with empathy rather than punished, and that being studious is the best way to avoid trouble. Importantly, boys and girls should respect each other and study together to encourage one another.

"To learn how to listen, to respect and to ask for advises, it is very good. If you are advised...you should feel that you are lucky." Ndiseguye Aloysia

Mukantwali Félicita & Rutiganda Rigobert

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Mukantwali Felicita and her son discuss their family’s history; Felicita’s life as a refugee and orphan, and how lucky Rutiganda Rigobert is to have an emerging and improving Rwanda in his future. Together they discuss how Rutiganda Rigobert can become a part of a new generation that prizes education, learns from the Rwanda’s past, and moves Rwanda forward in education, culture and health. Their conversation touches on a variety of subjects ranging from the causes of the genocide to relationship advice.

Ingabire Pascaline & Umuhoza Fanny

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Umuhoza Fanny asks her mother, Ingabire Pascaline, many of the questions she's wondered about for years: what country were you born in, how did you meet your husband, what was life as a refugee like, and many more. Ingabire Pascaline answers her daughter's questions and explains their family's history. She also tells Umuhoza Fanny how lucky she is to have grown up with a mother. Ingabire Pascaline describes how hard her father worked to provide for his children, how the loss of her mother at a young age affected her life, and why she credits patience for her success today.

Tuyisenge Francine & Uwituze Yvette

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Sisters Bayisenge Francine and Uwituze Yvette discuss romantic relationships. Because Bayisenge Francine is ten years older than Yvette and both happily married and well-educated, she has strong advice to offer to her younger sister. She stresses the importance of remaining independent, ambitious, and driven, despite temptations to marry early. Bayisenge Francine urges Uwituze Yvette to finish school before getting married so that she can not only receive a full education herself, but can also ensure that her husband values education as well.

Mukagatare Laetitia & Uwihoreye Seraphine

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Uwihoreye Seraphine asks her aunt, Mukagatare Laetitia for advice on dating, intimate relationships, and the meaning of personal faith. Mukagatare Laetitia talks about her own adolescence and stresses the importance of women obtaining an education before they start worrying about men. Aunt and niece discuss Rwandan gender norms and Uwihoreye Seraphine learns how to protect herself in future relationships.

Kajuga Augustin & Nkurikiyimana Ignace

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Kajuga Augustin, born in 1939, has much to tell Nkurikiyimana Ignace about Rwanda before colonialism: the history of kings and how power was transferred from one to another, how young people were treated differently by their mothers versus their fathers, and how they were joined in marriage. He recounts how some practices are thankfully outdated, like drowning unmarried, pregnant women, while some celebrate values that are still positive, such as respect and cooperation.

ARTICLE PUBLISHED

SEPTEMBER 2014 - Archival Science 14 (Nos. 3-4, 2014): 275-306. Available here

FOUNDER PASICK WINS PRESTIGIOUS PURPOSE FELLOW PRIZE

OCTOBER 2014 - Founder and Director Patricia Pasick, Ph.D. has been honored as a 2014 Purpose Prize Fellow which recognizes “outstanding social innovators over aged 60 who are working to change the world by finding solutions to challenging social problems.“
http://www.encore.org/patricia-pasick

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